With all the recent buzz surrounding big-budget film adaptations of major video game licenses, we began to wonder -- if films based off of games can find funding with movie production companies, why couldn't a film based off of a video game news column? As our minds began to race with thoughts of cross-promotional T-shirts and licensed cereals, we recklessly ran to our laptops, and wrote out a hasty plot synopsis for "Japanese Hardware Sales: The Movie". We're pretty proud of it, and the agent we hired at a local flea market is convinced we can eventually squeeze a trilogy out of the initial concept. Don't worry, gentle readers. We won't forget you when we make it to the big time.
The still night air wafting over the Hardware district of the bustling metropolis of Salesbury, Japan, is punctuated with the crackle of gunfire. The town's many residents realize with a start that Sunday's midnight hour has come, and quickly retreat into their bullet-riddled homesteads. From the shadows of the city's seemingly endless alleyways emerge the six gangs who fight weekly for the unspoken control of Salesbury: the powerful reigning champs known as the "Park Street Pistols", the young and lively contenders known simply as "The Wii-vils", the once invincible "DoorStep Lighteners", the mercenaries of "The Third Order of Private Soldiers", their once-parent organization "The Second Order of Private Soldiers", and the mysterious, poorly-funded outfit known as "The Xterminators of 360th Street".
Who will come out on top at the end of this four-hour-long cinematic masterwork? Only time, and the purchasing habits of the people of Japan, will tell. Starring Samuel L. Jackson as Coolidge, the leader of the Park Street Pistols; Kevin James as Archie, his carefree sidekick; Rose McGowan as Belladonna, the feisty captain of The Wii-vils, and a guy who kinda looks like Bruce Vilanch as the menacing "Red Arrow".
Anti-smoking organization Tobacco Free Florida recently released a local TV spot featuring a fake FPS title, which for all intents and purposes, may as well be titled Haylo, created by little-known developer Spungie. The ad shows the unwisely unhelmeted hero laying waste to a squadron of robo-baddies, then lighting up a moke-moke, which quickly drains his health, leaving him very dead in the enemy stronghold.
For most of our younger readers, school's no longer in session in observation of the midsummer months -- though we're certain that our studious readers won't allow their minds become dull as rusty butter knives during their valuable vacation time. That's why we turn your attention to a fascinating article written by PS3 Fanboy's newest columnist, Ph.D candidate and gaming enthusiast Kylie Prymus, who examines the effect that the Escher-esque Echochrome can have on our perception of our own three-dimensional world.
Prymus posits that Echochrome's unique, manipulatable 2D perspective is not only jarring when compared to the robust 3D engines we've become accustomed to seeing in most games, but it also points out the "frailty of our own perceptual apparatus", which is fundamentally two-dimensional. Those who still possess unblown minds might want to give the article a read -- if only to give you some Hawking-quality discussion material with which to impress your gaming cohorts.
While most of the "new" gameplay elements and maps discussed in the above preview for Gears of War 2aren't really "new" to the video game news consuming populous, it's still nice to see some of the game's fresh features in action. The preview is fairly comprehensive -- there's looks at some of the soon-to-be-covered-in-gore locales, the new gametypes (we absolutely cannot wait for meatflag), chainsaw duels, new weapons and executions, and brand new, colorful ways of describing acts of grisly violence from the game's all-growed-up iconic lead designer, Cliff Bleszinski. We can't think of a better way to spend eight and a half minutes of a Sunday afternoon than to watch beefy combatants get halved.
We know there are probably one too many prerequisites for you to find this story truly interesting -- but if you're one of those rare DS Lite owners who recently purchased Guitar Hero: On Tour, and is also into homebrew applications for the handheld, and also fancies themselves a modern day Botticelli, then there's a new homebrew painting application with some surprising peripheral functionality that the four of you should really consider picking up.
The app in question is BassAceGold's UAPaint (v1.02), which allows the use of the On Tour guitar grip buttons for easily accessible short cuts to important tools, streamlining the digital painting process. It's a really sleek setup -- unfortunately, we're not entirely convinced that DS doodlers really need faster, more powerful methods of etching poorly-rendered genitalia into their luminescent screens.
Ubisoft recently released a video explaining some of the major changes included in their upcoming free expansion to Rainbow Six Vegas 2, and we think it's a fairly safe bet that fans will be pleased. Included in said trailer is a look at the much-requested additions that should make Call of Duty 4 feel sincerely flattered, such as the new grenade indicator and post-elite ranks, as well as the three "new" (see: re-lit and re-textured) maps which will also be made available. Also included are details concerning the new "High Stakes" mode, where health regeneration will be disabled, and where players will amass extra experience points by verbally disparaging the skills of their Low Stakes brethren. We can't wait!
We've had many Game Boy Pockets, GBA SPs and other portable devices snatched up by certain agitated educators during our formative years, which is why the recent news of a new program to teach English to Japanese students using the Nintendo DS fills us with unbridled, elderly bitterness. Think of the things our generation of handheld companions could have taught us! Geometry from Tetris! Microbiology from Dr. Mario! Animal husbandry from Pokémon!
To be fair, the program (which was recently examined in a Reuters write-up) requires students at Japan's Joshi Gakuen all-girl junior high school to use special English-instructing software with the handhelds, which are collected at the end of each class to prevent any unsavory Pokédueling during recess. The program is just barely into its one-year trial period, though the school's vice principal is very optimistic -- if only he knew he was actually transforming his pupils into rot-brained, knife-wielding miscreants!
Don't misinterpret that headline -- David Hayter, who has voiced the role of Solid Snake since ... well, since Solid Snake could speak, doesn't need you to submit your fan fiction to help piece together the plot of the supposedly upcoming Metal Gear Solid movie (though we're sure he would find your homemade Otacon/Sniper Wolf erotic literature wildly fascinating).
According to a recent IMDB post from Hayter himself, he needs fans of his work and of Kojima's epic series to email a certain Sony Pictures rep and politely suggest that Hayter be the one to pen the film's script. He's got the credentials to do so, having written screenplays for the first two X-Men movies and the upcoming adaptation of Alan Moore's Watchmen. We can also assume that he's played the game he would be adapting, giving him a significant edge over most screenwriters of ludologically-inspired films.
Reader Ian G. recently submitted an image to us that he accidentally discovered using a StumbleUpon toolbar, which appears to be an early draft of an upcoming update for Team Fortress 2's most innocuous of classes, the Spy. The origins of said image are unknown -- perhaps it's a leak from Valve's vault? A convincing photoshop from a dedicated fan? Perhaps Ian is in possession of a magical StumbleUpon toolbar, capable of stumbling into the future?
While it certainly looks convincing, we're leaning towards "convincing photoshop" -- especially considering most of the text is copied and Elmer's school glued from Valve's official Pyro update. As credible as the new weapons (such as the silenced PPK and the Garrote) and achievements (Joykill: Backstab a laughing enemy) look, we doubt the legitimacy of these supposed details about our masked, nicotine-infused friend.
Update: Given the final line of the copyright information at the bottom of the page, which reads "Hoax by Ka anin :P!", we're ready to go ahead and file this one under B, for bunko.
Breaking a new title into the MMO market is difficult, as any game developer whose name isn't synonymous with an overabundance of frosty precipitation will attest -- especially when your title fits into a particular niche already explored by another developer. For instance, NCSoft's City of Heroes cornered the super hero MMO market when it debuted in 2004, creating an intimidating hurdle that other online vigilante simulators have yet to attempt to vault.
The latest issue of Edge magazine features an interview with Jim Lee, creative director for Sony's upcoming DC Universe Online, who reveals the steps Sony is taking to set their title apart from NCSoft's. With their inclusion of a number of recognizable faces from DC's voluminous roster, and their focus on making the title a "kick-ass hybrid between a traditional MMO and a first-person action console game", the apparent differences between the two games are clear. As long as there's a rich, intricate fish-controlling engine, we'll give it a shot.
The gaming journalism world is an ever-changing maelstrom of high-stress deadlines and headline-making breaking news, so it should come as no surprise that we here at Joystiq absolutely adore routine. Like a freshly-fluffed down pillow, we find comfort in mundane repetition, as it so rarely comes our way. For nearly three months now, we've sat down to compile the sales figures of consoles in Japan, and as sure as the turning of the tide, Sony's gaming handheld would come out on top. It was a simplistic sort of routine, and one we found great solace in.
Alas, this repetition is no more -- with the recent release of a particular cutscene-laden stealth title came an onslaught of PlayStation 3 purchases; a swell that billowed above the trustworthy handheld, cascading over its unsuspecting crown. Will the new king hold down the fort in the following weeks? It is too soon to tell, but regardless, the damage is done. The PS3 has burgled this week's link from the PSP's expansive chain -- and as any blacksmith worth his salt will tell you, a chain with a missing link is not a chain at all, but rather, multiple smaller chains. Unless that link was at the beginning or end of the chain, then we guess it's still a chain. Blacksmiths say that kind of stuff all the time.
Yes, the c-c-c-c-combo is broken. It lies sundered, torn in twain -- as do our hearts.
We love watching guys pummel each other into a gooey pulp just as much as the next group of gaming bloggers, but we've never understood the appeal of the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Sure, a no-holds barred brawl in an octagonal cage of death sounds delightful, but we've found that many of these televised matches quickly end up turning into a bro-hug festival.
However, very few bro-hugs are featured in the above trailer for THQ's UFC 2009 Undisputed -- though there are bro-punches, bro-kicks and bro-body slams abound. True fans of the sport will no doubt be pleased by the trailer's accurate portrayal of a UFC match, though considering the lukewarm reception of most pre-existing UFC titles, we wouldn't blame them for being a cautious lot. Could THQ's offering be the first worthy contender in that narrow genre, or will it, like a flimsy-fisted first-time brawler, be forced to tap out?
Many froth-mouthed fans of Blizzard's intergalactic real-time strategy masterpiece Starcraft have anxiously been awaiting word on when the next installment of the series would land in their anticipatory laps. Blizz has been characteristically tight-lipped about the title's launch window, though we were recently informed that an online SKU search for Starcraft II on Best Buy, Circuit City, and Gamestop's web sites reveal the same supposed release date of December 3, 2008. With no confirmation from Blizzard, it's far from official -- though we imagine this won't stop dedicated zerglings from dropping by the office tomorrow, and requesting off the last month of the year.
Serving as the CEO for a high-profile game publisher means having responsibilities beyond just attending the occasional meeting or PR function. Many gaming industry executives also find themselves moonlighting as Flavor Flav-esque hype men (and women) for their company's blockbuster releases. Then again, some leaders take a different approaching to promoting their big titles, replacing boisterous claims with cautious, realistic optimism. Then there's a third group of leaders, who etch their upcoming games into their flesh.
Electronic Arts CEO John Riccitiello fits neatly into group number two, as his comments to a group of investors concerning EA Mythic's upcoming Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning demonstrates. Riccitiello plainly stated that "Warhammer Online [will be] a strong entry in the MMORPG space," but will not "rivalWoW." We appreciate Riccitiello's candor, but with Warhammer out of the running, we're beginning to wonder what it will take for a title to knock Blizzard's billion-dollar baby from its position atop the crest of the MMO dogpile.
We've had a love/hate relationship with past iterations of titles featuring our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, though one aspect of every title that we felt was never quite right was the manner in which the beloved web-slinger placed the beatdown upon unsuspecting thugs. Sure, certain games have had entertaining, intuitive combat systems, but none truly captured the way the arachnid protagonist whips up on baddies as he does on ink and paper.
5,324 (8.23%)
392 (18.12%)
